Three Wolf Moon Shirt
As the 80s had unicorns and rainbows, the 00s had the wolf shirt.
In particular, this wolf shirt by The Mountain achieved the impossible by being both one of the best products ever made and having some of the funniest Amazon.com reviews ever written:
Behold, the most epic wolf shirt known to man
“This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.”
“Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather”
As you will see from the rest of the reviews, this wolf shirt comes HIGHLY recommended, it is without a doubt the greatest shirt ever, literally possessing unexplained powers to change the wearer into the metaphorical wolf and beyond.
If you’re looking for a wolf shirt, you will not be disappointed with this one and would be foolish to even consider not buying it immediately. Unconvinced? Read on my friend, the legend continues:
“The transformation was almost instantaneous! I lost 10 pounds, grew 2 cup sizes and my hair fell into soft bouncy curls. I no longer feel inclined to hide my insecurities behind ciggarettes, beer, foul language and belching. Thank you, Three Wolf Moon!”
“Shortly after this picture was taken, that car started”
Luke, I am your shirt
“Three Wolf Moon USMC edition (Marine Green) Bravo Company 1st Combat Engineer Battalion This image was supplied to us by Sergeant Nick Heier USMC”
Dude was head of math club a year ago!
Esquire is all over this epic buy
Pretty obvious really
“Suddenly, I am bathed in moonglow; caressed by wolfsong. Having harnessed the collective potency of the Three Wolf Moon Tee and my general 1/16th-blood Native American fabulousness, silvery light surrounds me wherever I go. Thanks, Three Wolf Moon Tee!”
“Obama likes it!”
“It made my golf game better, you shankapotomus!”
“The source of Steve’s power is the shirt. Or is it the other way around?”
The next best thing to owning the shirt
“Vogue Talks about the shirts ‘HOT Fashion Moments’”
If only I had that shirt. . .
This could be you (either one)
Still not convinced? Read more reviews of this wolf shirt at Amazon.com
Convinced? Buy this wolf shirt at Amazon.com