Aaron Rayburn ‘The Shadow God’
Aaron Rayburn ‘The Shadow God’ is unfortunately widely hailed as the worst book ever written. This honour doesn’t come easily, it takes a great deal of effort to produce a masterpiece such as this.
Customers say this book is so bad it’s not even funny, and agree it’s an excellent present if you’re looking for a certain something for that special douche bag.
Below are some snippets from the book and some customer reviews. If you doubt the words and motives of these life-long Aaron Rayburn ‘The Shadow God’ readers, you simply must read this book for yourself. Only then will you understand that the hype, truly is, only substance.
“I took one for the team, so the rest of you would NEVER have to be subjected to this beast. I beg you, don’t let my selflessness be for nothing. Heed my warning. This is the worst book ever written.”
Oh man this is getting good
“The back cover copy reads “Craig Johnson had two best friends, two caring parents, a hot girlfriend, and a nice truck–not bad for a twenty-year-old.” Already we’re in trouble. The author photo shows Rayburn in all his mid-20s virginal glory. Manson contacts, a black cap turned backwards with a red 666 monogrammed on it, he’s posing next to what looks like a rubber demon. His bio includes the line “He also says that he owes a great deal of gratitude to the Devil . . . for filling his mind with such horrific images.”
The stranger was beastly in size with thick, bushy eyebrows, a prominent protruding forehead, and a thick, black coarse beard. His gait was that of a mammal – a Neanderthal.
And later we learn that Cain and Abel were Neanderthals who lived in the stone age, feared dinosaurs, and that Cain was kicked out of the Garden of Eden for slaying his brother.
There’s suspense too!
“not only is this the worst book ever written, it’s also the worst-written book ever.”
- Already, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it. In fact, he KNEW he wouldn’t.
- Eubanks looked annoyed. He exhaled annoyingly
- Spiers’s eyes popped extraneously from their sockets
- The lamp’s glow was very weak compared to the blue glow emancipating from the basement.
- It infiltrated his lungs, filling them with a kind of innovativeness he had never felt before.
“I picked this book up on the suggestion of a friend who said it was by and far the worst book he had ever read. Having read many thousands of sci-fi and fantasy books I scoffed. I have to rescind my original opinion however, it really is as bad as I was told and in some ways far far worse. It easily ranks in the top 5 worst books I’ve ever read if not the worst. Do yourself a favor and let those who have read this dismal trash before you prevent you from suffering unnecessarily. The author either has a horrible vocabulary of incorrect language or the editor just hit “replace all” in the spell checker leaving about a dozen horribly misused and out of place (but correctly spelled) words spread throughout the book. The story is at best mediocre and the protagonist is a predictable bore. I really can’t think of anything good to say about this book, can you give negative stars?”
Slam this book on your coffee table ASAP
Haven’t seen enough? Read more reviews of Aaron Rayburn ‘The Shadow God’ at Amazon.com
Check out the old personal website of Aaron Rayburn where you will learn about his inspirations and aspirations, his employment as a prison guard in Ohio, and his stance on abortion and the death penalty. Riveting!
Amazingly, this isn’t the only novel from Aaron Rayburn. ‘The Shadow God’ was followed by several other works of interest. Check out the other books.